Sorry fucker, but ANGRY GAY MAN is away on vacation. Which I almost didn't make because of some stupid fuckity fuck fuck, with a 6th grade education who fucked up my ticket. He probably couldnít hear me cause he was chewing in my ear the whole time and laughing with some other ass. Anyway so enjoy your daddy issue, cause I'm enjoying the cancer rays, and this trip that MY daddy paid for. Ponder this shit while I'm away:

I really need the help of you Bible experts who are admonishing us against homosexuality because Leviticus 18:22 states it is an abomination. If this is correct, could you then help me with some of these other specific Bible laws and how to follow them?

a. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. What do you think would be a fair price for her these days? Sheís 18 and starting at the University. Will the slave buyer continue to pay for her education according to biblical law?

c. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness (Lev.5:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why canít I own Canadians?

e. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? Or should this be a neighborhood improvement project?

f. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is also an abomination (Lev. 11:10), he believes it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I donít agree and I bet the shellfish donít either. Can you settle this?

g. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I would like to worship the Lord, but I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? Would contact lenses help?

h. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

j. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to ail the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16) Couldnít we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14).

I really look forward to your answers! And when you finish with these, I have lots of other questions, for example: In Genesis, how did Adam and Eveís children beget more children without committing incest with their brother or sister or their mother or father? Did these brothers and sisters get married first, unlike their mother and father? If not, did their bastard children commit incest to beget more bastard children? If all of this an abomination, and it certainly sounds like it to me based upon many other parts of the Bible, would it have been a greater abomination if any of them were gay because of Lev. 18:22? By the way, why didnít Jesus say homosexuality was a sin or an abomination?


NOTE: This is based upon a letter to that fuckity fuck fuck Dr. Laura, the right-wing zealot bitch who uses scripture as an excuse and her fucking profession as a tool for her hatred and personal bias (which she calls her religion). Needless to say, that fuck didnít respond. The responses are obvious to any thinking idiot.

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