Daddy.Daddy, daddy, daddy…
Where do I start?
Number 1, what IS a DADDY? I mean in your gay world I mean?
Well I went to the Craig’s List men for men, and intercepted a few “daddies looking for” ads. I asked them not to be angry that it wasn’t some cute boy answering their call for sex that night, but me, a biological female, and not looking for sex (well, not from him, not then. In my research for this article I happened upon the men for women section and was so excited about the ad that read WILL CLEAN YOUR HOUSE AND GIVE YOU ORAL SEX THEN LEAVE, NO QUESTIONS ASKED that I masturbated to THE TYPE ON THE SCREEN before I could actually email that person to come over and deliver. I guess that’s ok, its probably safer right? Still, my apt remains a mess…). I sent the daddies this here picture of me to communicate what kind of woman I was. I only got one response back, but it was the RIGHT one. We had an e-interview. This daddy was also a fantastic writer, so I want to basically transcribe our exchange.
Again, what WON’T I do for you?
SBFM - Are you a DADDY?
***When I can be.
SBFM - What IS a daddy?
***One who takes on the fatherly role/position in play or relationship. Play tends towards the thrill of the transgressive, specifically incest fantasy. This can be overt or subvert - but in my opinion is always there in older male/younger male connection, even if just a touch, even if unacknowledged, even if unrecognized.
SBFM - I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday who suggested I do this (search Craig’s List), He's more cubby, a big sweet guy. He (Scotty Bunny, you may have heard of him?) was explaining to me that a bear could be a daddy but a daddy isn't always a bear, is that true? Elaborate if you will.
I was going to go search the bear sites, but that seemed like a whole other topic, for a whole other issue. I was wanting to go strictly daddy here.
***Your friend is correct. BEAR is about physical/visual (and behavioral) presentation - the look/feel. Hairy, rounded, cuddly in a small cuddles to big sort of way. But size differential not necessary. For bear think from teddy bear to grizzly bear. (Grizzly Adams" was definitely a BEAR; CAPTAIN KANGAROO, ex-marine, would do as a bear I think.)
Viva note: referencing both Grizzly Adams AND captain kangaroo as bears in scumbag fagmag DADDY issue? SWEET. Nice one daddy.
***Bears CAN be daddies, but don’t have to be. Daddies do not have to be bears but CAN be. Again, daddy is about age role, fatherliness overall (as perceived/experienced by dad and son in roles/relationship/play) BEARS is definitively a big topic in and of itself.
SBFM - When did you know you were a daddy?
***When, in my early fifties I became interested again in men, specifically younger men, specifically YOUNG men. When that awoke I also knew (realized) that I wanted to be in fatherly role/relationship to them - both in general and in bedroom play (incest role-playing).
SBFM - What do you think made you a daddy?
***Not having one myself, perhaps, and all through my youth and on looking for one, in many ways and situations. I believe this need for a father-figure transmuted to desire to find and meet that need in someone else.
SBFM - What is HOT about being a daddy? Sex particulars, that define daddy-ism?
***Warm strong commanding protecting presence that has license to get intimate in all ways.
(Viva note: I wanted of course more specific dirty details, but thought it rude to ask for more. We all have to use our imagination here, sorry.)
SBFM - What kind of guys does a daddy want? Qualities?
***Sons, of course. The looking-up-to-dad quality (again, ALL ways, from on knees, to in conversation)
(Viva note: yeahhhhh, fucking HOT!!!!!)
SBFM - What kind of guys want a daddy? What qualities attract?
***Young (chronologically, at heart, in mind) men who want a father in their lives, in them.
(Viva note: IN them!)
SBFM - Where do daddy's find the guys they want? Is there a community for daddies?
***Me, I find them online. Sometimes in life. Online I hunt actively. In life, they find me if they want me.
SBFM - Do you love being a daddy? What is it like to be a daddy in the world?
***When it connects and works out right, yes.
I am usually not a daddy in the world. Closest to that I came was as a sergeant, squad-leader in infantry in Vietnam. That worked out very badly. I lost my squad. Next would be when I have directed in theater. Young actors (and actresses) looking for and to father/authority figures can become (and have with me at times) surrogate children with me as surrogate dad. Again, these connections have run from the unrealized/unrecognized/unacknowledged through the range to intimate, emotionally, physically.
SBFM - OK, that's about it I think, THANK YOU for not e-yelling at me, and for giving me the time of day!
***Nothing you asked or said would stimulate a negative reaction. Btw, did you say this was for a posting somewhere? If so, let me know where, I am interested in seeing what you write about all this.
SBFM - Why yes I did mention a posting, and here we are, right here in SCUMBAG FAGMAG. Mr. Daddy, thank you for shining your light on this subject for us all. And thank you loyal readers for picking us up again, the historic 2nd issue of SCUMBAG FAGMAG. This rag is your rag, this rag is my rag. Hasta luego!
Love,
viva